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03 November 2009 @ 09:21 am
If you had one night left to live, what would you do? Would you prefer to spend your final night with a loved one or alone? What would you choose for your last meal?

I think I would spend the entire night writing, mainly letter to everyone who has touched my life, letting them know exactly how i felt, and how grateful i am to all the people who have given me a little happiness, we never tell people these things...
25 October 2009 @ 07:38 pm

I am so tired... why can't I sleep?

I am not working five days a week and studying three days a week and attempting to fit in 24hours study time a week also. Unless I can work out the Beetles secret of expanding the week, something very bad is going to happen very soon.

I've been in the most horrible mood, the most horrible grumpiness all day. I don't know how i can keep going, i really don't. I'm exhausted, i just want to collapse and really really want a PROPER hug from someone who wont let go a second later.

18 October 2009 @ 06:50 am

I seem to feel much happier when my insomnia kicks in because I start writing on LJ again! I have no time during the day what with the collosal ammount of coursework- not that I'm complaining, I love coursework! Well at least I love reading and discussing my thoughts, opinions and theories. For some reason I am spectacularly bad at writing essays, which is odd because i can write most other things okish.

Right now I'm working on a Shakespeare essay about kingship and acting and I'm rally interested in the question- i could talk on it for hours, but i have no idea how to write it, how to channel all my thoughts into some kind of coherant argument.

Hmm... i have happy thoughts of Winona Ryder in my head now...

15 October 2009 @ 08:37 pm

it may have been easier to be bi/gay/straight UNDECIDED and curious in ye days gone by when there were no actual contructed sexualities, other than generally assumed straight and playing around where you felt like it. Well for men at least, posisbly not for women. I hate people asking me what my sexuality is... i ponder it for ages and then give a backwards answer and different people i know have entirely different impressions of me.

Don't care.

I'm fairly miserable tonight as i am hvaing one of those hideous epiphanies that involves realising i shall be ALONE forever.

I entirely blame my lecturer who accidently showed us a picture of his beautiful daughter, and then my friend who stated that marriage is wise, financially speaking; all these other people who are living their lives, and then me who pretends to be so cynical but is really so lonely and would like more than anything someone to love but has no confidence and a talent for falling for the wrong person and general mistrust of love relationships family et cetera.

Current Mood: anxiousanxious
12 October 2009 @ 05:51 am
Is that (gasp) surely, NO, it can't be! it's... it's ... it's ME! Writing my blog again! o-m-----g thought this day would never come. so Uni has entirely bowled me over and through a lovely set of loopholes i cannot get any kind of loan for my fees ergo i am also having to work my ass off bookslaving when i'm not studying.
I am the bitch of the books. Other than that Dear old Simmies is as wonderful as ever and i am so so sooooooooo glad that i am back at university with all my books and my wonderful literature teachers and living in a shiny new house with nice people.

right nbw,... life is good.
Current Mood: contentcontent
08 September 2009 @ 08:04 pm

The other day, while very Bored, I decided to spruce up my Facebook page, seeing as I hardly ever use it and it has the sad empty feeling of an unvisited website (what is the online version of cobwebs and how is it so apparent?) So I commented a bit, changed my profile picture and changed my display name to read: Gigi Sunshine, as that name suited how I was feeling at that moment in time.
Frivolous frippery is apparently not appropriate on internet socializing sites as I immediately was bombarded with a whole load of messages and wall posts, people I haven't spoken to years asked at once the cause of this change, was I alright? Was I having some kind of breakdown? Had someone else hacked into my account? Was I married? Blackmailed? Had my life been threatened?

I was amazed at how seriously everybody took this. Indeed I had ignored some pretty serious stuff from Facebook its'self in the first place- however there is no legal binding, it is a Social Website. Really is this such a big deal?

Am I the only one out of step here? Perhaps I am entirely wrong and the way forward is infact websites such as these, to change your name or to omit yourself is to omit yourself from life. However I am much fonder of real people, of conversation and debate, of hugs and laughter: none of which are incorporated in having 527 friends on facebook.


Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
06 September 2009 @ 08:15 am
Well Tut Tut SOMEONE hasn't been posting. And who might that be? Oh yeah, me.
Well life's been all a little tits up of late if you'll excuse the expression.
I have moved out of my old attic room- although i've left a couple of boxes there and my landlords were really being quite weird, but i can't be bothered going into all that. The important thing is that I'm moving into my new house on Monday- by my self *whimper*, never mind i'm working my ass off through the week, then i'm going up north and all my housemates will move in While I'm Not There. I so hadn't planned this. The week after I START UNIVERSITY and all the world will be beautiful and happy. Dear God I cannot wait for that day to come.
I've been so mentally stressed this past week i didn't sleep two nights and was sick a couple of times- you see i still haven't paid my fees from last year and i spoke to uni and found out they hadn't registered me for any courses and i was so scared i'd be chucked out- so i went into campus and spoke to the various secretaries, recpetiona dn registrationa nd got it more or less sorted-- and then i had to get a form signed by my english teachers, i went up to find them all playing cricket in the corridor. Honestly I was so happy, I could have died right there. I love my english teachers, maybe i'm a little obsessive but i'm so happy to find other people like me- like me but only cooler, not in a cool way but in a bumbling-english-teacher-kind of way.
Oh I cannot WAIT to go back.
My entire life is a countdown right now.
I feel drained. I need to eat, i am definitelly lacking something in my blood- my arms feel just like jelly or something unplesant is inside them where the bone ought to be.
Current Mood: blahblah
04 September 2009 @ 09:07 pm

Oh yeah the Seanbug is MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVING and some day relatively soon will actually have a HOUSE in which i will LIVE.

Finally Made It!

So anyone of regular correspondance shout at me because i'm a bit mental right now and i'll send on the new one.


I feel in the need of some pushing daisies right now. Colour and Death. Ahhhh. Bosom bosom bosom bosom.

Current Mood: weirdweird
30 August 2009 @ 07:36 am
What is the dumbest thing you've ever done?

no. not revealing that in public.
17 August 2009 @ 09:47 am

I'm off to Finland finland Finland, I'm off to Finland doo-dey-doe-de-doo!
So rediculously excited and rediculously terrified about getting to the airport on time, despite the fact I live right next to it (my lovely ten minute wake up call!) and I'm giving myself a full FIVE HOURS before the plane actually leaves to be there. But oh well, I shall partonise my OCD one more time!
Does anyone twitter? Because I've started and I'm persevering but I feel a little stupid. Other than allowing me to stalk Stephen Fry, Mitchell&Webb and others, it seems a bit stupid, as I only know two actually PEOPLE who do it and I feel like I'm talking to myself.

Oh dear Gods, tell me I'm not talking to MYSELF????

*i desperatly need someone to comment to this post to assure me this is not the case*

Oh and woop! I'm on the uni paper team! *does happy bum wiggle* with editing and "quotes" in my articles. THinking... how the bijaesus does one but quotes in my kind of writing?

Current Location: London
Current Mood: hyperhyper
Current Music: She's a rainbow, rolling stones